...Day 4...
After three days of determination to choose life and be courageous, today I just feel tired, disconnected, like there's a spring tightly coiled inside that might explode at any moment, on the edge...
Do you have days like that? When the old demons suddenly reappear and try their hardest to pull you back into the dark? When to have a clear mind and a sense of peace is a battle in itself. It would be easy to think I'd wasted today. To beat myself up over mistakes and inadequacies. To focus on what I got wrong, rather than right.
But there has been some right... I stepped out and invited my niece and nephew camping, knowing it'd put me in a vulnerable position with the idea facing possible rejection... I determined to have a positive attitude about my teaching position next year, despite the challenges I know it will have... I wrote my blog, even though I felt like giving up.
So I am sometimes weak, but it's in these times of weakness that I have the greatest opportunity t depend on the One who is far stronger and greater than me. I know my God will not fail me. Just confessing that in itself is a courageous act of faith. I will keep pressing on. Who knows what the next bend holds...
After three days of determination to choose life and be courageous, today I just feel tired, disconnected, like there's a spring tightly coiled inside that might explode at any moment, on the edge...
Do you have days like that? When the old demons suddenly reappear and try their hardest to pull you back into the dark? When to have a clear mind and a sense of peace is a battle in itself. It would be easy to think I'd wasted today. To beat myself up over mistakes and inadequacies. To focus on what I got wrong, rather than right.
But there has been some right... I stepped out and invited my niece and nephew camping, knowing it'd put me in a vulnerable position with the idea facing possible rejection... I determined to have a positive attitude about my teaching position next year, despite the challenges I know it will have... I wrote my blog, even though I felt like giving up.
So I am sometimes weak, but it's in these times of weakness that I have the greatest opportunity t depend on the One who is far stronger and greater than me. I know my God will not fail me. Just confessing that in itself is a courageous act of faith. I will keep pressing on. Who knows what the next bend holds...
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